Stressed.

been really crazy with all the projects. its really suffocating me like theres no tomorrow. seriously piles of shit are constantly aiming at me and nobody understands.

anyway i know its not the first time i had the thought of leaving my job even though i've worked for almost 3 years. But i felt like since projects are quite intense and i cant really cope, i really feel like leaving the job and probably seek something more flexible like what pals eug and wils worked before. work once every fortnight that kinda thing which im unable to do so now.

not to say its not flexible for me now, but im still waiting for them to sign a full time admin on the weekdays so i dont have to like go down during my long break tmr after lesson to rush the payrolls and rush back to sch in the evenings for the ceremony. i see my classmates rushing their projects in their grps but i have to be somewhere else doing something else other than my project.

sometimes i feel that the sacrifices i made are quite redundant, for instance one night when i had to go down to helpout with some editing, only to reach there and realise 1hr later that my help wasnt even needed.. to think i went down when im rushing my project. its not abt the 1hr fee that im being paid, or the cab fare thats being paid for too, sometimes its just that all these can be avoided and time is something that nobody can be paid with money once its wasted.

grades is of my utmost priorities and in fact i often feel that in life, money isnt everything. its just that i can only spend lesser with lesser income thats all. i remember once, for the first time this yr when i stopped working on sat, i went for a walk after studying and i felt so good. hearing the sound of the tress swaying, inhaling the fresh air.. everything seems so peaceful. but life doesnt work this way.. sadly.

ebp this sun due for submission, thank goodness final project for this sem! gonna hunt for a weekday job during the hols already. hope i can find a job or passion that i really like.. but still.. im so stressed up. making loads of mistakes and the compiling is driving me crazy. not difficult just that its very troublesome.

im gonna stop for today, damn tired and not to mention gotta wake at 630 tmr and home only at like 9+ or 10 tmr due to the event. and rushing to the centre and back to sch during my break.

i just need a break from everything. school, work, everything. life is so depressing. so not looking forward for tmr.